New Days In Life
by NintendoGal55
Summary: Follow-up to "Days In Life", now with Ren and Stimpy's life together as a couple! They may have issues here and there, but they make it through as best they can.
**Hey folks, I'm back with another installment! As it said, it's a follow-up, shortly after the ending to the previous. ;3 Where will this go? Well, we'll see!**

 **Thanks for reading! :)**

* * *

"Don't take off the blindfold yet, Ren! We're almost there!" Stimpy chirped cheerfully, squeezing Ren's hand gently.

If he were able to roll his eyes, Ren would have done so a million times by now. "Steempy, I know the point of a surprise! I'm not going to take eet off before you say so. We better get dere soon though, I'm starveeng!"

Stimpy chuckled, leading him around a right turn, "Oh, don't be so impatient! It's going to be worth the wait, I promise!"

"As long as eet's not sometheeng stupeed," Ren muttered, shaking his head.

"You're going to love it!" Stimpy sounded really excited, which was something Ren wasn't sure how to feel about. After a few more steps, he came to a stop and let go of his hand, "We're here! You can take it off now!"

Relieved at this, Ren removed the blindfold and looked up with surprise. They were standing in front of a very high-class restaurant, known as Chez Paris. Blinking a few times, Ren looked over at Stimpy, now seeing that he was wearing a very nice suit. All while holding one for him in a garment bag! Stimpy giggled, handing it over to him.

"I really wanted to surprise you, so I figured you could put it on here!" Stimpy said with a grin.

"Steempy..." Ren looked from the suit to the restaurant a few times, then at him, still wide-eyed, "What ees all thees?"

"Weeeell... I know how much you like fancy places like this, all the romance novel stuff, so... I pulled a few strings and got us some gift cards for this place!" Stimpy smiled, holding out a couple of cards in his hand, "Tonight, we're going to dine like a couple of fancy men!"

Jaw dropped, Ren stared at Stimpy with amazement, then at the suit, and back at him. This was not what he was expecting, especially not for their first date. He felt so much at this moment, most of which he could barely contain! It was too much. Even his racing heart wasn't making it easy to take in.

"Oh, Steempy..." Ren sighed, looking at him ruefully, "I don't deserve you."

"Oh, pshaw!" Stimpy giggled, leaning toward him a bit, "I wanted to do something special for our first date, Ren. I know I can be a bit of a moron.

"A beet?" Ren snorted.

"Shush!" Stimpy smiled, placing a finger on his lips, "I wanted to treat you to something I know you'd love! You've done so much for me, and I just want to give back to you."

Ren looked down a bit, placing a hand on his chest. How could he even respond to that? Stimpy being his usual giving self was more than he could take. With a smile, he slowly dressed into his suit and made sure it fit properly. Stimpy watched him the entire time, very enticed.

"Oooh, hello there, handsome!" Stimpy purred, giving him a coy smirk.

Blushing a little, Ren chuckled and shook his head, "Stop eet, you. But thees ees more than I expected, Steempy. I really don't know how to thank you."

"You don't have to," Stimpy smiled, bringing an arm around his shoulder as he led the way inside, "Just have dinner with me and enjoy it!"

Normally, Ren would have pulled himself away, but he just couldn't bring himself to. He kept his head up high, trying not to get too flustered. No, he had to play it cool. "Well, Steempy, thees ees perfect. I theenk I can do that."

Coming inside, they reached the Maitre'D at his podium, who looked at them with mild surprise. Stimpy didn't flinch and smiled, keeping himself poised as possible.

"Evening, good sir! We have a reservation under Stimpson J. Cat!" Stimpy said brightly.

Looking down at his list, the Maitre'D nodded, "Cat, party of two. Right this way, sirs."

So far so good. Ren felt relieved that there didn't seem to be presumptions about them. Not that they would've been incorrect. But being his first date with another man, he felt so odd. It was a good kind of odd, but not the kind of thing he wanted to overtly expose.

They were led to a small, intimate table along a fairly quiet area of the restaurant. Sure enough, it was equipped with a white tablecloth, fancy silverware, wine glasses, a couple of candles, and a red rose.

' _To theenk, Steempy brought us to a play like thees on our first date,'_ Ren thought, unable to help grinning.

Stimpy went over to one of the chairs, looking at Ren with a shy smile, "Um, may I?"

"Huh?" Ren looked at him with confusion.

Indicating to the chair, Stimpy giggled, "Can I pull out your chair for you?"

As much as he wanted to refuse, it was getting harder to do so. Ren sighed, rolling his eyes a bit before he relented, "Yeah, okay."

"Great!" Stimpy smiled more, pulling out the chair.

Looking around briefly, Ren was relieved to see that no one was watching. He sat on the chair, to which Stimpy gently pushed it back in. Upon doing so, he then sat across from Ren and giggled.

"This sure is nice, huh?" Stimpy leaned back in his seat a bit, "Nice and fancy, real pretty!"

"Eet sure ees," Ren looked around the restaurant for a few moments, "Weeth our luck, I always knew we'd never get een."

Stimpy chuckled, nodding in agreement, "No kidding! But that's what made the surprise so special!" He looked down at the table, then placed his hand over Ren's, "You know what's even better, though?"

Ren looked down at their hands, trying not to get too flustered, "What?"

"I get to see that smile on your face," Stimpy said coyly, giving a chuckle.

Looking away a bit, Ren waved it off, "Come on, Steempy, you're getting too mushy!"

"I know!" Stimpy giggled, "But you love it!"

"Shut eet, man!"

"Nope!"

Puffing up his cheeks a bit, Ren pouted. Stimpy giggled, reaching over and poking his cheeks to make them deflate like balloons. At this moment, a beautiful waitress with long blonde hair came to their table and smiled sultrily.

"Hello, sirs..." She purred, looking at them with half-lidded eyes, "Can I get you a drink to get you started?"

All at once, Ren grinned widely and nodded, "Oh, yes! We'll have your finest champagne!"

Despite the funny look on Stimpy's face, he then smiled, "Yep! What he said!"

"Mm, excellent choice," the waitress cooed, giggling, "I'll be right back..." With a wink, she left and walked off, swaying her hips.

Tail wagging, Ren stared after her for a few moments, entranced. What a night this was going to be! A fancy restaurant and a beautiful waitress? He couldn't believe his luck!

"Isn't this nice?" Stimpy said, breaking his thoughts. He leaned over the table, head on his hands, "I swear I've dreamt of this moment for years."

Coming back to earth, at least for now, Ren looked over at his longtime companion and blushed. How was he supposed to respond? It was immensely sentimental and so touching, he had to say _something_! But what? No, he had to play it cool.

"Really now?" Ren said casually, leaning his head on his hand.

"Yeah," Stimpy giggled, his cheeks a bit pink, "It's definitely nothing like I imagined it to be. It's way better!"

Giving a little nod, Ren averted his gaze slightly. Looking into Stimpy's sweet, innocent, loving blue eyes was making his body want to melt. "Dat's... er, really nice, Steempy."

"What about you, Ren? Is this everything you hoped it would be?" Stimpy asked, his expression hopeful and nervous.

Managing to look back at him, Ren considered it. A date like this was something he'd always imagined. A calm, quiet, romantic atmosphere with a beautiful woman. Except that part was completely out of the equation. There was a small part of himself that couldn't help feeling disappointed of that. Sharing this with a gorgeous young human woman would've been amazing.

Yet, as he looked to Stimpy's sweetly smiling face, Ren knew that this was the best he could ever get. Being with someone who truly loved him and who he loved back.

He smiled then, deciding to at least throw his companion a bone. Ren placed his hand over his and chuckled, "Eet's everytheeng I could ask for, Steempy."

"Awwww," Stimpy smiled brightly, taking Ren's hand and rubbing his cheek against it, "I love you!"

Blushing furiously, Ren pulled his hand back and looked away, "Don't do dat..."

Stimpy pouted, but giggled, "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

"Whatever," Ren waved it off. He exhaled then, looking back at Stimpy, "...Love you too, okay?"

"Joy!" Stimpy clapped his hands with delight. He looked off to one side and grinned, "Oh, look! Here comes our champagne!"

Almost immediately, Ren snapped his gaze over to the beautiful waitress. His tail wagged furiously, his eyes on her rather than the champagne bottle. The waitress in question giggled as she poured them some champagne and placed the bottle into the ice bucket.

"So, what'll you sirs be having tonight?" She asked, taking out her notepad and winking at them.

Realizing he'd forgotten to even look at the menu, Ren quickly grabbed it and perused the selections quickly. Unfortunately, the menu was written in French. He sighed, about to resign himself before Stimpy spoke up.

"I'll have the _parmesan de poulet_ , and my best friend here will have the _filet mignon_ with a side of _escargots_ and _foie gras_ , ma'am!" Stimpy said with absolute haugtiness, smiling and handing her the menus.

"Ah, great choices!" The waitress giggled, taking the menus, "I'll be back with your food shortly!" She winked again, walking off.

For a few moments, Ren stared at Stimpy with a slacked jaw. He'd never expected Stimpy to read, let alone speak French. When did this ever happen? So many questions buzzed in his mind about this!

"What's wrong, Ren?" Stimpy tilted his head.

"...You speak French?" Ren managed to say.

Laughing, Stimpy reached over and gently closed his jaw, "Sure I do! I like to study other languages sometimes! I'm not bilingual, but I know a little bit to get in and out of trouble!"

Ren blinked a few times, giving a small nod, "Well... dat's eempressive, Steempy."

"Well then, _merci beaucoup, mon amour_ ," Stimpy purred, batting his eyelashes.

Feeling a shiver run up his spine, Ren leaned back against his chair and felt his breath hitch, "Er, tone down de French a beet, Steempy!"

"Why?" Stimpy smiled.

"Eet's, er, not necessary!" Ren waved it off, smiling sheepishly.

Stimpy tilted his head, confused. He then thought about it for a few moments, before grinning widely, "Oooh! You _like it_ when I speak French, don't you?"

"What?! No! Dat's not eet at all!" Ren's cheeks grew way too warm. He scowled and looked away, shaking his head, "I'm not taken een by French!"

"Yes you are!" Stimpy laughed, grinning all the more, "No wonder, French is so romantic! The language of loooooove! Or should I say, _la langue de l'amour_!"

Ren blushed more and shook his head furiously, "Stop eet! Save eet for later!"

Laughing, Stimpy nodded and patted his shoulder, "Okay, buddy! C'mon, let's have a drink, shall we?"

"Yes... Let's." Ren agreed, letting out a sigh of relief. He took his glass, holding it up, "What should we toast to?"

"Hmm..." Stimpy helped up his glass also, tapping his chin with his free hand, "Ah, I know! A toast to our friendship, which is now true love, and to the life we have together!"

Ren's hand shook slightly, feeling as if his heart was going to burst. "Hear hear..."

Clinking their glasses and taking a sip of the bubbly drink, things went quiet between them. Stimpy didn't seem to mind, he just leaned over a bit and watched him with a smile. It was pretty nice, actually. Ren could feel himself relaxing all the more, even to the point of no longer making sure the other patrons weren't looking.

"Hey, Ren?" Stimpy said after a little while, his smile growing.

"Yes?" Ren replied.

"Did I ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?" Stimpy giggled, batting his eyelashes.

Although the compliment surprised him, it didn't stop the blush from returning full force. Ren glanced down at his lap, then up at Stimpy once again, "Not that I recall... Why?"

"Well, then I should start! I think they're amazing," Stimpy winked at him, snickering a little. "They have so much fire and passion in 'em! Like a couple of... I don't know, a couple of pretty lights!"

"...Steempy, you're cheesy," Ren glanced away again.

Stimpy giggled, sipping his champagne again, "Oh, and like those books you read aren't cheesy?"

Ren was about to retort, only to realize he was right. A sheepish grin crossed his lips, "Heh... touché."

"Ah! You did it! You spoke French too!" Stimpy laughed, pointing a finger at him.

"Steempy, dat was hardly an attempt to speak eet!" Ren protested, giving a roll of his eyes. "I take eet back, you're an eediot."

"...But you didn't say otherwise, Ren."

"You know what I mean!"

"Not really..."

"Of course you don't." Ren reached over the table and poked his nose, albeit a bit hard.

Just then, the waitress returned with their food and set the plates down, "Here we go, sirs! Can I get you anything else?"

' _Just your number...'_ Ren thought, feeling his tail wagging again. "We'll flag you down eef we need sometheeng, meess..."

"Wonderful! Enjoy your meal..." The waitress leaned over, showcasing cleavage in her blouse, and then walked off with a strut.

Sniffing his food, Stimpy smiled brightly and sighed, "Oh, joy! This smells delicious!"

Looking down at his plate, the enticing aroma filled Ren's nostrils as he felt his tongue loll out. "Eet really does... Let's eat!"

They proceeded to eat in silence, while oftentimes glancing at one another. Soft, soothing jazz music filtered out on the restaurant's speakers by now. Ren slowly ate, oftentimes glancing at his lover, and feeling more relaxed. It still boggled his mind to know that they were here, together, on a date. He would never have imagined this to happen way back when he first took Stimpy in.

Ren smiled, admiring his companion's deliberately slow and delicate manner of eating. Stimpy could sometimes be a messy eater, but he was being a lot more conscious of it. He couldn't help finding it cute.

"You know, Steempy, you went above and beyond just for our first date," Ren chuckled, "Een fact, I was sure we'd just go get burgers."

"Well, you can't go wrong with burgers!" Stimpy smiled, laughing a bit. "But yeah, like I said, I wanted our first date to be special. Something we're always gonna remember! Besides, I have to work hard to win your heart!"

Ren looked at him oddly, then snorted as he took another bite of food, "Now you're being silly."

"But isn't that the point of going on a date?" Stimpy tilted his head.

"Yeah, eef you barely know de other person," Ren replied, taking his napkin and wiping his mouth. "We've been weeth each other for almost twenty years, Steempy. So een our case, we're just spending time together like we always do."

"So... it's just like when we go places together?" Stimpy's ears drooped a bit sadly.

Ren nodded, "Yes, but since we're a couple now, eet's a beet more eentimate and romanteec."

"Ohhhhh!" Stimpy perked up again, then smiled, "So I don't have to do all that first date etiquette?"

"Not really, we leeve in de the same house and we see each other every day. Eet's not de same theeng dat most people go through," Ren explained, giving his hand a pat, "So don't worry so much, okay? Just treat eet like we're doing what we always do."

Stimpy nodded and finished up his food, wiping his mouth as well, "Okay, Ren! I'm glad it's not as hard as those books make it out to be!"

"Please, dere eesn't a one-size-feets all for dateeng, Steempy." Ren replied with a mild shrug.

"That reminds me, though... Can I still say you're my best friend even though you're my boyfriend now?" Stimpy asked.

Ren nodded, "Of course. We steell are best friends, eediot."

"Okay!" Stimpy giggled, nodding in confirmation, "And don't worry about dessert! I bought us a cake to have at home earlier today!"

"So dat's why you hid that box at the back of the freedge..." Ren mused, chuckling a bit, "Smart theenking, Stempy."

Stimpy grinned with glee, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth, "Aww, thank you Ren! You're so sweet!"

Blushing a bit, Ren busied himself by drinking down some more champagne. "Okay, okay, enough mush!"

"Okay. For now!" Stimpy winked at him, snickering. "So, are you enjoying yourself? I sure hope you are!"

"Yes, Steempy. Thees ees really nice," Ren sipped his drink again and set the glass down.

Stimpy smiled, looking relieved, "Goodie! I'm having a great time too!" He pushed his empty plate aside, then leaned over the table. "You know, there's something so magical about candlelight."

"What do you mean?" Ren asked, sliding his plate aside as well.

"You look so soft and pretty," Stimpy leaned his head on his hands, gazing at him dreamily, "Something about the candlelight makes you look like that!"

He was about to point out that it was exactly how candles worked, but Ren stopped himself. No, he should let Stimpy indulge a little bit. He just had to play along enough to keep him happy, but without compromising his masculinity.

"That's how candles work, Steempy," Ren said casually, but gave a smile, "Eet does wonders for you, too."

Stimpy looked surprised, then blushed as his smile grew, "You really think so?"

"Sure. Eet brings out your eyes," Ren said with a chuckle.

"Aw, thanks!" Stimpy rubbed his hand gently, looking into his eyes, "You know, Ren... It wasn't easy, but I'm sure glad I came back. My life just isn't the same without you!"

Ren took a breath to calm his heartbeat, but nodded in agreement, "Me too, Steempy. We've been together thees long, haven't we?"

"Yep!" Stimpy said with a grin, "I know you started out as like a dad to me, but I definitely don't find it weird! I'm just sorry you did, though. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!"

"Eh... don't worry about eet," Ren waved it off dismissively, "You're an eediot, but you're not out to hurt anyone. I guess eet's true what dey say, you can't control theese feeleengs."

Stimpy thought of that for a few moments, then smiled brightly, "Yeah, you're right! I just wish love came with an instruction manual!"

Ren couldn't help laughing at that, "You and me both, Steempy. I'm sure glad I bumped into you dat day, you know."

"Me too..." Stimpy murmured softly, rubbing his hand again, "You seriously saved my life, pal."

"Hey, I may be an ass sometimes, but I'm not heartless," Ren smirked, winking at him.

"That's for sure!" Laughed Stimpy, winking back at him.

This was when the waitress came back, taking their plates away, "Sooo, can I get you boys anything else?"

"Just de check, please," Ren's tail wagged as he grinned.

"Coming right up!" The waitress giggled, then walked off again.

She came back a minute or so later, placing the small folder on the table. Stimpy took it, then reached into his pocket to produce the gift cards, which he placed into the folder.

"Here you are, mademoiselle!" Stimpy smiled, handing it to her.

"Thank you!" The waitress smiled, opening the folder and peering into it. Her smile then faded after a moment, to which she then looked at Stimpy, "Um, sir? I'm sorry to say this, but you gave me the wrong gift cards."

"What?!" Ren's jaw dropped at this.

"Huh?" Stimpy looked at her with confusion, "I did?"

"Lemme see dat!" Ren snatched the folder from her, peering into it. To his horror, the gift cards were for a different restaurant. Letting out a groan of frustration, he reached across the table and smacked Stimpy's face with the folder, "You eediot! These cards are for Chez Pierre! We came to de wrong place!"

Stimpy blinked a few times, then looked downward with guilt, "Oh... I'm sorry, Ren. I thought that Chez Pierre was here on Levin street."

"No, you eediot! Chez Pierre ees on Bachman road!" Ren yelled, slamming the folder onto the table. He rubbed his temples, then pulled out his wallet, taking out a credit card and handing it to the waitress, "Sorry, meess. I'll cover eet."

The waitress smiled sheepishly, then took the card and folder to go and process it. Stimpy sank low in his chair, looking down with shame. After a few moments or so, Ren sighed and reached over, patting his shoulder.

"Steempy... I'm sorry I yelled. I paneecked a leetle," Ren said softly, shaking his head, "Just pay more attention next time, okay?"

Looking up at him, Stimpy nodded and wiped his eyes, "I will, Ren. I'm sorry about this."

"Eet's okay. You can just pay me back later, and we'll go to Chez Pierre tomorrow," Ren gave a little smile.

"Um, sir?" The waitress came back, looking sheepish, "I'm afraid your credit card declined, it seems to be maxed out."

Once more, Ren's jaw dropped, and Stimpy looked a mixture of ashamed and sheepish.

"Uh, did I forget to tell you that I used your credit card instead of mine the other day?" Stimpy murmured.

A dead silence followed.

Passerby on the street were surprised to surprised to see an asthmahound chihuahua chasing a manx cat all around the block.

"FORGIVE ME, REN!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU FAT-BLOATED EEDIOT!"

* * *

It wasn't fair.

What did Stimpy have to do to get his attention?

Stimpy stared at himself in the mirror, looking at his reflection with disdain. Looking himself up and down, he started to feel a sting in his gut. He usually never cared about how he looked, far from it. But now, it was a whole other story.

"Look at me... I'm just a fat, bloated, ugly cat... A _male_ cat... No wonder he'd rather have a beautiful human woman," Stimpy sighed, crossing his arms. "No way Ren wants me. Why would he, I'm not attractive at all!" He turned away from the mirror, unable to look at himself anymore.

Although Stimpy didn't like snooping through Ren's drawer, he almost couldn't help it. He'd found numerous porn magazines, usually featuring scantily clad or naked human women. There were even a few that featured men. Stimpy looked at one of them, which featured a bikini-clad woman, which he picked up and turned over. He sighed sadly, sinking to the floor and wiping his eyes.

"Let's face it, Ren loves me, but no way does he want to make love to me..." Stimpy murmured, pushing aside the magazines. "He probably doesn't even care that I do..."

From the doorway, hidden from view, Ren felt his heart sink to his stomach. Did Stimpy truly think he didn't want sex? Had he given off that impression? Even after they'd started dating? Ren couldn't tell for sure, but either way, Stimpy was unhappy. He hated seeing his beloved and longtime best friend unhappy. It just didn't feel natural. The very source of sunshine in the entire house wasn't meant to be sad.

Even worse was when he himself was the cause of it.

Forgetting all about chewing him out for snooping through his porn magazines, Ren quietly scooted away from the door before Stimpy could notice. He had to do something about this, he had to truly show Stimpy how much he wanted him too. It was going to be tough, especially since he'd never seduced another man before.

' _No more takeeng eet slow, then!'_ Ren thought, quietly heading downstairs. ' _Steempy may not be a human woman, but he should know I steell want heem! I can do eet, he's my best friend, I know heem better than anyone... I just have to find a good way to surprise heem...'_

As he went into the kitchen, Ren smirked to himself. He had just the plan to do it.

~X~

"Whoa! What's all this, Ren?" Stimpy looked at the assortment on the kitchen table with astonishment. There was a cake, some dishes of candy, cupcakes, and mugs of hot chocolate.

"Our deener, of course," Ren chuckled, patting his back, "You're always saying how fun eet would be to have all dessert, right? Well, deeg een!"

A big smile crossed Stimpy's face as his tongue lolled out, salivating, "Oh, joy! Sounds good to me, Ren!"

Phase one was a success. Although Ren knew he'd regret ingesting this many sweets in one sitting, it was worth it. Stimpy was at least in a better mood, which was what counted. They sat at the table, proceeding to eat their treats and fall into a content silence.

Deciding to add further to it, Ren scooted his chair closer to Stimpy and eventually leaned up against him, chuckling a little. Stimpy looked at him with mild surprise, but smiled brightly.

"Well hello there!" Stimpy giggled, nuzzling his head. "Are you feeling cuddly tonight, Ren?"

"You could say dat," Ren rubbed his shoulder and nuzzled his cheek. No wonder Stimpy loved cuddles so much, they felt so nice. Though he wouldn't admit it out loud, Ren loved cuddles as well. He came closer, bringing an arm around his shoulder. To further sweeten the detail, he planted a little kiss on Stimpy's cheek.

Stimpy giggled, nudging him gently, "Aww, you're so affectionate tonight, Ren! What's the occasion?"

"No occasion," Ren lied, grinning, "Just spending time weeth you, eediot."

"Awww..." Stimpy kissed his head and beamed, "I love you!"

Ren chuckled, playfully rolling his eyes and patting his back, "Yeah yeah, love you too, Steempy."

They continued to eat, mostly in silence, but a very comfortable one. It was especially a perfect way to enact the next little bit of his plan. Ren "accidentally" tossed his fork to the floor, which sailed past Stimpy and landed near his chair.

"Oops! My error, I dropped my fork!" Ren faked, then nudged Stimpy, "Hey eediot, be a pal and get my fork, will ya?"

"Sure, Ren!" Stimpy smiled. He got up and went over to where the fork had fallen, bending over to pick it up.

Ren leaned over to get a good view of Stimpy's generous rear, feeling his breath hitch. He hadn't admitted it, but he definitely had a fondness for Stimpy's large behind. There was something so wonderful and appealing about it. Who was he kidding, he loved it. Ren grinned, leaning over and giving it a smack.

"Ooh!" Stimpy yelped in surprise, then turned to look at him. He grinned widely, "Hey, watch it!"

"Sorry, my hand sleeped," Ren smirked, winking at him.

"Oh, you!" Stimpy giggled, giving his rear a tantalizing wiggle and winking back. He took a napkin, cleaning off Ren's fork and placing it back onto the table, "There we go! All better!"

Ren smiled and took it, proceeding to eat some more cake, "Thank you, Steempy."

"Anytime!" Stimpy patted his back as he returned to his seat.

After they finished eating, Stimpy insisted on doing the dishes, despite Ren's protests. After a while, he relented, but that he had every intention of doing so. For a little while, he simply stood there, watching Stimpy do the dishes. Smirking a little, it was a perfect opportunity for another dose of affection. Just to get him going a bit.

Going up behind his best friend, Ren brought his arms around Stimpy's middle and nuzzled his head. He chuckled, planting a little kiss where his neck was supposed to be.

Stimpy giggled, stopping for a moment, "Wow Ren, you can't get enough of me tonight, can you?"

"What can I say, you're a beeg ball of love," Ren snickered. He couldn't believe how cheesy he was getting, but it was worth it. "What'cha doin'?"

"Washing the dishes, silly! We talked about it just two minutes ago!" Stimpy laughed.

Ren chuckled, nuzzling into his shoulder, "I know, Steempy. I'm just playeeng weeth you. Anyway, I was theenking we could sit on de couch and watch dat movie you like so much."

This made Stimpy gasp, "Really?! We can watch _The Maltese Falcon_? Oh joy! But Ren, I thought you hated that movie?"

"Eh, eet's fine. I don't mind watcheeng eet weeth you tonight," Ren chuckled, patting his back.

"Awww... wow, I don't know what I did to deserve all this, but I appreciate it! Thanks, pal!" Stimpy turned around and kissed his nose. "Wow, it must be my birthday! ...Is it?"

"No, stupeed," Ren rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway, "You just feenish up, I'll be in the leeving room."

"Okay, honey!" Stimpy chirped, kissing his cheek.

It wasn't the first time Stimpy started using lovey-dovey pet names since they'd started dating. Ren at times couldn't help feeling tinges of irritation, but at the same time, he couldn't help appreciating it. Especially coming from someone who genuinely cared. It was even appropriate, since they were a married couple in everything but legality and coitus.

Ren smirked to himself, rubbing his hands together as he headed into the living room. Tonight was going to at least take care of the latter.

~X~

After the movie, which Ren admittedly sat through without complaint, the two were cuddled up on the couch. Stimpy turned off the TV and snuggled up closer, sighing happily. Ren chuckled, stroking his head, which earned purrs of pleasure in return.

"Hey dumbass, you ready for bed?"

"I guess so," Stimpy murmured, nuzzling his cheek, "Aw Ren, tonight's been pretty nice!"

"Eet sure has," Ren kissed his nose, "You go ahead, I'll be upstairs een a minute."

Stimpy nodded, kissing his cheek, "Okay! I'll see you there!"

Ren watched Stimpy head out of the living room and go upstairs. Smirking to himself, he got up and went over to the nightstand. Sure enough, hidden in a small container, was a box of condoms. Ren usually had quite a bit stashed away in the house, but had lately decided to get more ever since Stimpy's return. Now it was time to put them to use.

Keeping the box hidden, Ren headed on upstairs, whistling casually. He went into the bedroom, seeing that Stimpy was just washing up in the en suite bathroom. Perfect. Feigning that he was getting ready for bed, Ren hid the box in his stocking cap and placed it on his head, whistling still. After a few moments, Stimpy emerged, looking refreshed.

"Ah, there we go!" Stimpy smiled. He looked at Ren hopefully, but then his face fell. "Uh, bathroom's all yours, Ren."

Nodding, Ren passed him and gave him a playful smack on the rear, "Be right out!"

As he headed into the bathroom, Ren got to work. He brushed his teeth and used mouthwash, getting minty fresh. It felt like his usual bedtime hygiene routine, only with some extras. He put on some body butter that he knew Stimpy loved, spreading it all over himself.

"Hey, Ren?" Stimpy called from the bedroom, "Do you think we could-" He paused, then sighed as he gave up. "Oh, poopoo... Never mind. You probably don't want to, anyway..."

Ren couldn't help feeling a pang of guilt, but he pushed it aside. Now was not the time for regrets. If anything, this was perfect. Stimpy was expecting yet another disappointment, but he was going to prove him wrong. Taking the box of condoms, Ren took one out, making sure it was in plain sight. He went to the door, calling out to his companion.

"Ohhhhh Steempyyyyy~!"

Despite how disappointed he felt, Stimpy turned around, expecting to find Ren wearing a clown nose and a wig to cheer him up. What he didn't expect was to find Ren leaning against the doorway suggestively, holding a box in one hand. In his other hand was, to his surprise, a _condom_ in a wrapper. To top it all off, Ren was smirking and, to his delight, giving him bedroom eyes. The same eyes he'd give to any girl he found beautiful. Except this time, they were directed at him.

Feeling his heart pounding furiously, Stimpy was finding it hard to stand. This wasn't happening. But it was! Had he been wrong all this time? Ren was planning to surprise him? He couldn't believe it. It was astounding in the best way possible. Feeling his breath hitch, Stimpy gazed lovingly at Ren, watching as the little dog slowly walked into the room right toward him.

"I hope you're ready, Steempy..." Ren purred lustfully, tearing off the wrapper with his teeth. "I'm going to rut you so hard, you won't be able to walk for a week."

It was finally happening! Stimpy couldn't believe it. None of this was a dream or a fantasy. His heart continued to race, his body practically melted, and his loins were responding with excitement.

Stimpy squeaked happily, falling back onto their bed and grinning, "Joy!"

Licking his lips, Ren then pounced on him, straddling his stomach, "C'mere, cutie!"

~X~

Amazing. Wonderful. Ecstasy. So many words could come close, but could never adequately describe it. Nothing could.

Stimpy lay there on his side of the bed, staring up at the ceiling, breathing heavily, a big goofy grin on his face. He had never felt this amazing in his entire life. He'd never imagined it would feel this good. Oh sure, his rear ached something fierce, but he didn't care. Everything else in between made up for it.

It did start off awkward on his part, since he had little idea of what he was doing. But Ren took charge, which made the process all the more smoother. Stimpy got the hang of it, and let his lover take control. How amazing! Ren just dominating him like that was as sexy and exciting as he could have imagined. But better.

Looking over at Ren, who was laying against his pillow and smoking a cigarette, Stimpy sighed dreamily. He had always hoped for this. To just be together in the most intimate way possible. Especially in the aftermath.

"Ren..." Stimpy scooted closer and cuddled against him, nuzzling his shoulder.

"Yes, eediot?" Ren glanced at him with a chuckle.

"That was amazing," Stimpy kissed his neck, closing his eyes, "You're soooo good at it!"

Chuckling again, Ren brought an arm around him and patted his side, "Of course I am, Steempy. I'm a stud, after all. No possy can resist my throbbing manhood!"

"That's for sure," Stimpy giggled, "It was everything I ever dreamed of! I've never felt so good in my life! But you know what the best part is?"

"Let me guess, de cuddles," Ren teased with a smirk. He puffed his cigarette and blew out heart-shaped smoke rings.

Laughing a bit, Stimpy nodded and kissed his cheek, "You know me too well, Ren."

"I raised you, for God's sake. Of course I do," Ren kissed his head, "You love schmaltz, anyway."

"So do you!" Stimpy giggled, cuddling closer.

Snorting, Ren rubbed his side and shook his head, "Keep telling yourself dat, Steempy."

Closing his eyes again, Stimpy relished in the wonderful feeling of being this close to his beloved. What more could he have ever asked for? In all honesty, not much. Being with Ren like this was a dream come true. A decision he was glad to have made. It had to be wrong to be this happy, but how could it be wrong when it felt so right?

"Ren? Did you enjoy it, too?" Stimpy asked hopefully.

Rolling his eyes, Ren poked his side and held him closer, "Of course I did, you eediot. Why wouldn't I?"

"...I don't know, I guess I'm just making sure," Stimpy murmured with a sigh, "It always seemed like you really didn't want to."

There was silence for a few moments before Ren finally answered, "I deedn't mean to make you theenk dat, Steempy. I was just takeeng eet slow. Besides, I'd never been weeth another man before."

"Never?"

"Nope."

"Right..." Stimpy nodded, kissing his shoulder, "It's okay, Ren. I guess I was just worried because I wasn't a human woman."

This made Ren snort and laugh a bit, "Don't be seelly, Steempy. I don't need you to be a human woman, you're great de way you are. So stop worrying so much, okay?"

Feeling all the more reassured, Stimpy smiled and nodded. Maybe he couldn't change the fact that Ren did like human women, but at least it didn't change their love. He kissed Ren's shoulder again, nuzzling him, "Okay, Ren. You got it! I'm just happy to be with you like this."

"Mmm... Me too," Ren rubbed Stimpy's arm and gazed down at him, giving a smile.

Leaning up a bit, Stimpy stole a little kiss and beamed, "I love you so much, Ren... You're my world."

"Love you too, Steempy. Don't forget eet," Ren patted his shoulder and kissed his nose. "Sooo... I still have nine condoms left een dat pack..."

This made Stimpy grin, "Oh, joy!"

* * *

Never in a million years did Ren ever expect to have sex with another man. Then again, he also never expected to be in a relationship with another man. It was mind-boggling to say the least. Yet, here he was. In love with Stimpy, who he was now having sex with pretty regularly.

A part of his mind couldn't help knocking on his brain, wondering why he was making himself less of a man. But was it really? It felt so conflicting to think about. Yet, he couldn't deny it. Sex, no, making love with someone you loved and who loved you back was wonderful. Ren never imagined he'd feel the way he did. The physical factors were still there, if not moreso. But on a deeper level, it was emotional. He could barely contain it!

' _Eet was... de best sex I ever had...'_ Ren admitted to himself. He looked around the empty room, as if afraid that he'd be found out. ' _Eet really was! Maybe eet's because I love Steempy, but steell. Eet's eencredible! Now I keep going back for more! And speaking of more...'_

Ren peeked into the doorway, chuckling to himself. Sure enough, Stimpy was in the kitchen making dinner. All the while wearing a cute pink apron and doing a dance to a song playing on the radio. He then leaned over to look into the oven, his posterior in perfect view.

Smirking, Ren slowly slinked into the kitchen, keeping the condom in his hand behind his back. This would be fun, to just surprise his unsuspecting lover. He knew Stimpy had little fantasies like this, so it was a perfect opportunity to make them happen.

Upon coming behind Stimpy, Ren slinked over and grabbed his behind, squeezing. Stimpy squeaked in surprise, then giggled with delight before he grinned, "Ren!"

"Yes?" Ren smirked, rubbing Stimpy's rear sensually.

"What are you doing?" Stimpy giggled, blushing.

Snickering, Ren turned him around and grabbed him in a tight embrace. He licked his lips as they slowly curled into a predatory grin. "What's eet look like, Steempy? I'm seducing you."

"Oh, Ren! Cut it out!" Stimpy giggled. Despite his protests, he made no move to push him away. "I'm making dinner!"

"De timer ees on for twenty meenutes. I think I can fineesh een time..." Ren purred, pulling him toward the kitchen table. Leaning up to his ear, he whispered, "Come to daddy, Steempy-baby..."

Shuddering, Stimpy grabbed hold of him and cooed a little, giggling, "Ren... Don't stop!"

"Wasn't planneeng on eet..." Ren smirked, pushing him down onto the kitchen table and climbing on top of him. "I'll have you beggeeng for it like a catholeec girl on prom night!"

"Oh Ren, you wonderful man!"

~X~

Of course, the fact they were having sex came with certain issues they had to address. It was unusual between two men, but considering how unique Stimpy's situation was, it made all the more sense. However, it did come with having to make sure he was more informed of the matter. Luckily, Ren was able to arrange for a solution while he was at work that day.

Later on, after he'd come home and was about to have a cigarette, he broke the news to Stimpy.

"Hey eediot, I made you an appointment weeth a gynecologeest on Friday," Ren stated, taking out a matchbook.

"What's a gynecologist, Ren?" Stimpy asked, coming over to him.

"A doctor dat specializes weeth women's geneetals," Ren replied with a mild shrug. "Seence you're a hermaphrodite, I feegured you should see one now dat we're sleeping together."

Stimpy nodded, then paused for a moment to consider. He looked at Ren with a curious smile, "I'm hermaphrodite? What's that?"

"Eet means you have both male and female geneetals," Ren explained, striking the match.

"You mean men can't have a penis AND a vagina?" Stimpy asked, tilting his head.

Ren shook his head in response, "No, Steempy. Dey can't. Just look at me!" He indicated to his crotch area, despite that it wasn't visible at the moment. "And een your case, you also have a uterus."

All the more intrigued, Stimpy came closer to him, "What's a uterus?"

"Y'know... The pocket een women's bellies dat allow dem to get pregnant," Ren replied, waving it off dismissively.

This made Stimpy gasp before his smile grew wider. "I can have babies?! Oh, joy!"

Although his excitement was understandable, Ren knew he had to dial it back to make sure Stimpy wasn't getting ideas. As nice a thought as it was, he knew it wasn't the best idea to indulge into. Especially since they weren't exactly in a good position for it to happen just yet, if at all.

Rolling his eyes a little, Ren snorted, "Hmf, don't talk too fast. Dat's why I use condoms, because you're too stupeed to use peells."

"What are pills?" Stimpy asked.

Sighing, Ren lit his cigarette, "Eediot..."

Stimpy thought for a few moments, tapping his chin, "Hey, Ren?"

"What now?" Ren looked at him with annoyance.

"If I'm both male and female... does that mean we're bi or hetero?"

Honestly, Ren had no idea how to answer that.

~X~

That Friday afternoon, Stimpy was sitting in the waiting room of the clinic, entertaining himself any way he could. He read the magazines, played with the little toys, or whatever else possible. Overall, he wasn't nervous, but very curious about it all. Ren had explained that when he took Stimpy to the doctor for the first time, the doctor had revealed he was a hermaphrodite. It was unclear if he was born with it or somehow had a radiation mutation.

Even so, there was the risk of getting pregnant. Stimpy couldn't help loving the idea of being able to have children, especially with Ren. A little litter of puppies and kittens were something he'd had dreams about for some time! What wonderful news it was for the future! He hoped one day that Ren would be open to having children together. Then again, their newfound love was still pretty young, so there was a lot of time before they would get into that.

Stimpy sighed happily as he leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes. This was what having a sex life felt like. Now he understood what his friends meant whenever they shared anything about it. There was something magical about sharing it with someone you loved.

"Stimpy?"

Recognizing a familiar voice, Stimpy opened his eyes and came to see a tall doberman standing near him. He grinned widely upon seeing who it was, "Harry! Is that really you?"

"The one and only!" Harry chuckled. He came over and they hugged each other in a friendly manner, "So, how've you been lately?"

"I've been super!" Stimpy grinned, pulling away, "Life is great! What about you? Wait, wait, don't tell me... You're... doing... awesometacular?"

Harry laughed, nodding, "Yes, I am! I'm in town for a few days visiting my sister and her husband. I just took my nephew in for a check-up."

"Aww, that's nice!" Stimpy smiled more, bringing his hands behind his back.

"You bet," Harry chuckled, sitting down next to him, "And before you start apologizing, no need. You've done that enough."

"I know... I just don't like making people sad," Stimpy said softly.

Harry smiled in understanding, patting his shoulder, "That's okay. I've been in your position before, anyway."

"Really?" Stimpy looked at him with surprise.

"Uh-huh. It was back when I was in college. I was dating this girl for a little while, about... eight or nine months, actually. We had a fun time together, she was really sweet and just great to be with," Harry said, smiling nostalgically, "Unfortunately, I just didn't feel the same way after a while. I liked her, but I just wasn't romantically or sexually attracted to her. I broke it off and she was really sad, she liked me so much."

"Awww..." Stimpy said sadly, giving a little pout, "I'm sorry."

Chuckling, Harry patted his shoulder again, "Don't worry about it! It was a long time ago, and we still keep in contact from time to time. But bottom line, I know how it feels to be in that position. We sometimes have to do the right thing at the cost of hurting someone's feelings, that's just life. It'll hurt for a while, but it's for the best, you know?"

"Yeah..." Stimpy smiled again, nodding in agreement, "You're right!"

"See? There's that smile," Harry chuckled, "So, are you happy, Stimpy? Did things work out with Ren?"

Blushing a little, Stimpy nodded with a shy smile, "Yes..."

"Aww, that's great to hear," Harry chuckled, smiling more, "I'm happy for you, I really am. Don't you worry about me either, I did find somebody new."

"Ooh! Really?" Stimpy laughed, turning to him again, "That's wonderful! Who's the lucky girl... or guy?"

"It's another guy, his name is Travis and he took an internship at my company," Harry explained. "He was an impeccable worker and very promising. I hired him after his internship was over, and he worked with me for about two months. After a little while, we spent time together outside of work, really hit it off, and we just, well, one thing led to another and we started seeing each other. He went to get another job elsewhere because he didn't want to make things awkward at the office. But oh yeah, we've been together ever since."

Stimpy clapped his hands with delight, letting out a squeal, "Oh, wow! I'm so happy for you, man! I was hoping you'd find happiness!"

Harry smiled and nodded, "Hey, I knew I would eventually. I wasn't in a rush and I certainly can handle being alone. It just happened and I let it develop naturally. So hey, maybe things didn't work between us, but at least we're happy now, right? Isn't that what matters?"

"You bet it is!" Stimpy agreed, relaxing all the more.

"Exactly," Harry sighed happily, making himself more comfortable, "So, what brings you here? Getting a check-up too?"

"Kind of! I'm going to see a gynecologist, since I'm a hermaphrodite and wants me to be careful about getting pregnant!" Stimpy explained with a grin.

At this, Harry looked mildly surprised, to which he then chuckled, "You didn't know you were a hermaphrodite?"

"Well, no! I didn't!" Stimpy giggled.

"I did," Harry admitted with a chuckle, "I just didn't say anything because I didn't want to be rude. I figured you already knew, anyway. But anyway, that's a good idea. It's always good to be cautious about this sort of thing."

Stimpy nodded in agreement and was about to respond before the nurse came back out.

"Mr. Stimpson J. Cat?" The nurse said.

"Oh, that's me!" Stimpy hopped down from his seat. "Well Harry, it was great seeing you again! Be sure to write me sometime, okay?"

"Of course I will," Harry assured with a smile, shaking his hand, "It was great seeing you too, Stimpy. Take care!"

"Right back at ya!" Stimpy chuckled.

~X~

Later on, Stimpy arrived back home, whistling happily to himself as he carried a bag of groceries inside.

"Ren! Oh, Ren! I'm home!" He called into the house. "Hello?"

No response. That was odd. All of Ren's belongings were around, so was obviously home, wasn't he? Why wasn't he answering? Stimpy frowned a bit, then put the groceries away. Maybe he was taking a nap?

Heading upstairs, Stimpy heard Ren's voice from their bedroom. Relieved, Stimpy slowly approached and was about to call his name again, but stopped himself.

"What ees wrong weeth me... I'm so small and scrawny," Ren moaned sadly.

Worried, Stimpy approached the bedroom and peered in through the crack in the door. Sure enough, Ren was standing in front of the mirror, looking at his reflection sadly.

"I'm no man... I'm a weemp... A leettle sad excuse for a man," Ren lamented, feeling along his small body. "No woman would ever look twice... I don't even know why Steempy likes eet... I'm patheteec!"

' _Oh, poor Ren... He's that insecure?'_ Stimpy thought, biting his finger. He hadn't realized Ren felt that insecure about himself. Usually he was boasting about his manliness and other qualities. This was so unlike him. ' _My poor Ren... I have to do something to make him feel better!'_

Stimpy thought for a few moments while Ren continued bemoaning his size. He then got an idea, and quietly slunk into the room. Very slowly, he approached Ren, and came right up behind him.

"Ah! Steempy!" Ren squeaked in surprise, looking at their reflections, "When deed you get home?!"

"Just now, silly," Stimpy chuckled. He brought his arms around Ren's body and pulled him close, "How's my big, strong, handsome man?"

Ren blinked, looking a bit confused for a moment, then apprehensive. Stimpy just giggled, nuzzling his head and planting kisses along certain areas.

"I'm... fine, I guess," Ren finally said, looking a little mor relaxed.

Stimpy giggled, kissing his ear and then letting him go, "Well that's good to hear! The checkup went just fine, no problems at all!"

Ren sighed with relief, nodding, "Okay, dat's good, Steempy. Let's just make sure we use protection."

"Okay, handsome!" Stimpy then turned him around, before lowering himself to the floor, "Say Ren... do you remember when you were able to carry me?"

"Yes..." Ren mumbled, pouting a little. "Why?"

"Well, how about you give it a try? For old time's sake!" Stimpy grinned.

Ren blinked, looking him over, "But Steempy, you're a leettle too beeg."

"Oh, pshaw! You can handle it! You're a big, strong man! If anyone can still lift me, it's you!" Stimpy assured with a laugh, "So come on, give it a try!"

At this, Ren gave a grin and nodded, "Okay! You're right, I can do eet!" He leaned down, proceeding to lift Stimpy up bridal style. It was hard, Stimpy could feel him struggling, but he did it.

"Aw, yay! You did it!" Stimpy kissed his cheek, "There's my big strong man!"

Ren laughed a bit, then set Stimpy down before flexing his muscles, "You got eet, Steempy! Yeah! I'm getting stronger everyday!"

Grinning wider, Stimpy hugged him and licked his cheek, "That's my man!"

"Egh!" Ren recoiled, wiping his cheek, "Steempy! Don't leeck me!"

"Why? I like to lick you," Stimpy giggled.

"Don't do eet!" Ren blushed, looking away.

Lick.

"Stop eet!"

Lick.

"Steempyyyyy!"

"Yes?"

"Eef you leeck me again, you won't like what's next."

Pause.

Pause.

...

Lick.

Slap!

"Oh joy..." Stimpy murmured dreamily.

"Go make deener, I'm hungry," Ren muttered, turning away from him.

Stimpy giggled, coming back and bringing his arms around him, "Aw come on, can't I at least make you feel better?"

"Steempy, put me down!" Ren squirmed a little, "I'm fine!"

"Really? Too bad, I was going to do that thing you like so much. You know, that thing I do with my mouth..." Stimpy smirked, nuzzling noses with him.

Eyes going wide, Ren blushed a bit, "...Really?"

Giggling, Stimpy got onto the bed and beckoned him over. Ren eagerly joined him as they prepared to have a little pre-dinner dessert...


End file.
